Who can say where the road goes?
Apr. 18th, 2004 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xaaraWow. I just wasted an entire half of a day, doing I don't know what. I went outside for a little while to read, but I couldn't concentrate on my book, so I came back in and decided to clean up my room. Despite my best intentions, I never got further than my computer desk before I logged onto the internet and searched for some good BtVS fiction, of which there is precious little not rated NC-17. Failing in my search, I looked up a piece of random trivia to ask my coach today in practice (he always asks me history questions and makes me look up the answers if I don't know them) and checked the JC to make sure no one had any urgent concerns about the upcoming newsletter. I nosed around Crest a few times too, but it was like nothing could hold my attention for more than a few seconds. I hate that feeling. I want to be able to dive into a book or into writing and concentrate solely on that for at least an hour. This sort of flightiness frustrates me.
I miss having really good friends. I have wonderful friends here in DC, and I have friends online who I talk to almost every night, but I just don't share many interests with the RL people I interact with. I like classical music and old movies and a good book and an odd word; they like rock and punk, new romance flicks, television, and hate being forced to learn vocabulary. How can I carry on a decent conversation with someone who appreciates almost none of the parts of my life that I hold in the highest esteem?
Of course, there are exceptions. One of my friends here invited me backpacking with her youth group, and I had so much fun on that trip. We talked about books, films, our theories about life in general. We discovered that we both hated what Peter Jackson did to Gimli and Faramir in the LotR movies. We had fun. But those moments are few and far between.
No doubt my friends here feel the same frustration with me. They must sense that I'm not really one of them. Sure, I eat lunch with them, go to the occasional movie with them, make witty comments to them, gripe with them. But I'm not one of them. I'm the observer, looking in and interacting, but refusing to become emotionally attached to the objects of my study.
And now I'm the angsty blogger, pouring out the woes of my soul to anyone who will listen. ;) I still can't help but look forward to my other best friend's (the one not mentioned in the previous entry) arrival here from Italy. She's coming in June, and I simply can't wait for her to come. We argue with each other, disagree with each other, annoy each other, and constantly try to outdo each other; we complete each others' sentences, talk in unison, and carry on inane conversations full of inside jokes only the two of us understand. She is, quite frankly, the closest thing to a twin I've ever had and I love her for it.
In case you're wondering, the title of this post came from Enya's "Only Time," a song that is constantly on my playlists. Lyrics can be found here.
I miss having really good friends. I have wonderful friends here in DC, and I have friends online who I talk to almost every night, but I just don't share many interests with the RL people I interact with. I like classical music and old movies and a good book and an odd word; they like rock and punk, new romance flicks, television, and hate being forced to learn vocabulary. How can I carry on a decent conversation with someone who appreciates almost none of the parts of my life that I hold in the highest esteem?
Of course, there are exceptions. One of my friends here invited me backpacking with her youth group, and I had so much fun on that trip. We talked about books, films, our theories about life in general. We discovered that we both hated what Peter Jackson did to Gimli and Faramir in the LotR movies. We had fun. But those moments are few and far between.
No doubt my friends here feel the same frustration with me. They must sense that I'm not really one of them. Sure, I eat lunch with them, go to the occasional movie with them, make witty comments to them, gripe with them. But I'm not one of them. I'm the observer, looking in and interacting, but refusing to become emotionally attached to the objects of my study.
And now I'm the angsty blogger, pouring out the woes of my soul to anyone who will listen. ;) I still can't help but look forward to my other best friend's (the one not mentioned in the previous entry) arrival here from Italy. She's coming in June, and I simply can't wait for her to come. We argue with each other, disagree with each other, annoy each other, and constantly try to outdo each other; we complete each others' sentences, talk in unison, and carry on inane conversations full of inside jokes only the two of us understand. She is, quite frankly, the closest thing to a twin I've ever had and I love her for it.
In case you're wondering, the title of this post came from Enya's "Only Time," a song that is constantly on my playlists. Lyrics can be found here.
