(no subject)

[xaara]

Drove back from Minnesota today, miles and miles of cultivated fields and houses clustered around the gas stations.

I love and hate the Midwest. Love its expansive openness, the simplicity of wheat fields. Hate how it all turns into itself eventually, a sloppy watercolor with smudges of green grey blue and always too much sky.

I am waiting for winter, when the sunlight leeches warmth from the air and shatters the lakes into artless strewn glass, shards of metal, mirrors glinting back at the shore.

i.

When Sam was ten, he convinced himself that corn was good magic. The one time he tried to plant any in the garden (that one garden, that one time they stayed a year), the stalks grew crooked and scraggly, with none of the symmetry of rows stretched out across acre after acre.

Dad showed him the machines, huge ones with spikes and teeth and tires the size of the car. This one is for planting, this one harvests it, later, when it’s ripe, see?

Sam nodded and imagined the farmers rising before dawn to murmur charms of geometry and parallels.

ii.

Sometimes Sam pretends to sleep while Dean’s driving, just so he can watch Dean’s shoulders relax, his hands loosen their grip on the wheel. Watch him ease off the gas and turn down the volume of whatever shit rock he’s listening to. Watch him hum along and nod and meld his body to the form of the seat.

The road unfurls, disappearing past the circle of their headlights. But Sam believes in it; it will catch them no matter how blindly they hurtle themselves forward.

Sam watches his brother, and smiles, and knows things in the cradle of the dark.

iii.

We’re not stopping here, Dean says, even though Sam’s had to pee for eighty miles now and is about to roll down the window and have at it, upholstery be damned.

Why not? Sam asks. Come on, man.

Last time we stopped here, Dean says, the bear in the lobby came to life and almost ate us.

Oh, says Sam. That was this one? I thought that was the one--

No, says Dean, lips pressed tight together. Now will you quit being a fucking girl and shut up?

Sam looks out the window and thinks, love you too.

Comments

[iamzulma.livejournal.com]

awww, these are so pretty and lyrical! just lovely. :))

and...welcome home!!! :)

[xaara.livejournal.com]

Thanks, on both counts. :)

There's something surreal about Wisconsin just before fall.

[quellefromage.livejournal.com]

Lovely post. Welcome back. And the drabbles are lovely. Bear in the lobby came to life? Ha! (BTW, if someday you read a story by me that has Sam peeing out a window, and Dean saying to watch the upholstery--I swear--I've had that part done for over a month. Really. )

[xaara.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU WROTE THAT!?

*wants*

See, I was having this discussion the other day with my roommate's mom regarding SPN (said roommate's mom is made of amazingness; story for another day) and we were talking about how they should have an episode where Sam and Dean spend the whole time stuck on the side of the road because their car breaks down. And then I was thinking about what would happen if for some reason Dean couldn't stop the car and I had this mental image of Sam having to pee but not being able to and drabble was born. (Driving through Minnesota is not terribly interesting. Also this offers valuable insight into my [lack of] writing process. :P )

But seriously, I can't believe you already wrote that. When you post it, I am First In Line to Read.

Thanks for the comment. :)

[quellefromage.livejournal.com]

I sent the snippet in question to your email, 'cause it may be eons before it's posted, if ever. But it's funny now since we both went to that weird place.

[xaara.livejournal.com]

Weird place indeed, but I can't wait to read it. In fact, I'm off to read now.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

I like them; and I'm utterly unfamiliar with the fandom.

[xaara.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Every once in a while I have a mini crisis of faith when I wonder whether my original writing suffers because I write so much fic, whether I get lazy about voice and characterization because not all of what I'm writing requires me to create the voices and characters. So it's really nice to hear that something written for fandom actually had a broader appeal.

That made sense in my head. Not so sure whether it translated well. :P