You picked an interesting way to wrap things up here, by having Leslie following in Dean’s footsteps, and her sister following in Sam’s.
This was a really well-told, interesting piece, with a great narrative voice and writing style, and I very much enjoyed the ride. :)
Favorite lines:
More sitting, and very little talking. Mostly just grunts, one ten-second exchange when Sam asks if Dean wants some water and Dean says no Jesus stop yammering and Sam points out that he hasn’t said anything for an hour and a half and Dean says yeah but you were thinking louder than a pack of girls at the mall and Sam says oh and shuts up.
So I see a pattern here, of the way these guys gear up for fights. Sam’s mind whirs and whirs and whirs, and Dean’s more calm and quiet. Kind of a reversal of what they’re normally like. Me like. :)
“There’s a fire,” he tells the woman who answers at the other end. “312 Cheyenne Avenue. And a woman with some sort of stomach injury, big gash across her lower torso. Man who’s having a panic attack and a little kid who’s going to need some serious therapy. And a baby.”
This is great, the way Dean’s quickly trying to relay what happened without giving too much detail, but by giving enough info so that this family gets the help it’ll need.
Then Sam swears, and Dean hears the crack of a gun hammer, and when he turns to look at Leslie, she stares back at him with eyes washed black like oil spills. Something twists in his stomach; he knows without approaching her that the baby is dead.
No … the demon in Leslie? The baby dying? No, no, no. *sniffles*
Leslie laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, a child’s laugh, like wind or water or happiness come to Earth, and it stops him in his tracks.
“Hello, Dean,” she says. “You’ve grown since the last time we saw each other.”
Ooh, this was creepy. Great writing there.
The first sirens come within hearing range as Sam levels the gun at a girl, a child, and thinks, I can’t.
I felt so bad for Sam here, because what a sucky thing to have to do. Kill a girl to kill the demon. It feels like a no-win situation.
Leslie’s tears evaporate. She cocks her head to one side to blink at Sam, twists one hand, and doesn’t even flinch at Dean’s scream.
*wrings hands* This is so not going well.
Her body tenses, and he understands it, in a sudden, elastic moment, can almost taste the snap of Dean’s neck under the artificial strength of Leslie’s child-fat arms, feel his body spasm under the light of a lopsided moon.
No! *covers eyes* Not Dean!
“It’s just that you defended the entire family from the demon. And then your brother killed, well, a human girl.”
But … but … what choice did Sam have? The demon would have kept on killing if Sam hadn’t done what he did. Yes, killing Leslie was awful, but … I guess Good and Evil can only see black and white and not shades of grey, eh? Or perhaps it's that Sam's actions were motivated by hate for the demon, rather than doing good for mankind.
“We’re on a deadline here,” Dave interrupts. “We don’t get this done, we’re going to miss the wormhole.”
*snorts* Of course Evil would be kind of impatient about the whole thing. Btw, great idea to have Evil and Good’s human names be so ordinary. I like that.
“Hey,” Dean says. “Would you finish stitching that up? I have things to do.”
“Things of the useful research variety or things of the it’s-alive-and-has-tits-works-for-me variety?”
ROTFLOL! So glad to see Sam and Dean survive judgment day and get to go back to what they do best: brotherly banter and hunting evil. *g*
“Come on, man, the one time you thought that girl had information about the demon we were trying to kill, it turned out she was the demon we were trying to kill.”
*snickers* I can so see this happening to Dean. It’s a wonder his downstairs brain hasn’t gotten him into heaps of trouble on the show.
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Date: 2006-07-08 09:43 pm (UTC)This was a really well-told, interesting piece, with a great narrative voice and writing style, and I very much enjoyed the ride. :)
Favorite lines:
More sitting, and very little talking. Mostly just grunts, one ten-second exchange when Sam asks if Dean wants some water and Dean says no Jesus stop yammering and Sam points out that he hasn’t said anything for an hour and a half and Dean says yeah but you were thinking louder than a pack of girls at the mall and Sam says oh and shuts up.
So I see a pattern here, of the way these guys gear up for fights. Sam’s mind whirs and whirs and whirs, and Dean’s more calm and quiet. Kind of a reversal of what they’re normally like. Me like. :)
“There’s a fire,” he tells the woman who answers at the other end. “312 Cheyenne Avenue. And a woman with some sort of stomach injury, big gash across her lower torso. Man who’s having a panic attack and a little kid who’s going to need some serious therapy. And a baby.”
This is great, the way Dean’s quickly trying to relay what happened without giving too much detail, but by giving enough info so that this family gets the help it’ll need.
Then Sam swears, and Dean hears the crack of a gun hammer, and when he turns to look at Leslie, she stares back at him with eyes washed black like oil spills. Something twists in his stomach; he knows without approaching her that the baby is dead.
No … the demon in Leslie? The baby dying? No, no, no. *sniffles*
Leslie laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, a child’s laugh, like wind or water or happiness come to Earth, and it stops him in his tracks.
“Hello, Dean,” she says. “You’ve grown since the last time we saw each other.”
Ooh, this was creepy. Great writing there.
The first sirens come within hearing range as Sam levels the gun at a girl, a child, and thinks, I can’t.
I felt so bad for Sam here, because what a sucky thing to have to do. Kill a girl to kill the demon. It feels like a no-win situation.
Leslie’s tears evaporate. She cocks her head to one side to blink at Sam, twists one hand, and doesn’t even flinch at Dean’s scream.
*wrings hands* This is so not going well.
Her body tenses, and he understands it, in a sudden, elastic moment, can almost taste the snap of Dean’s neck under the artificial strength of Leslie’s child-fat arms, feel his body spasm under the light of a lopsided moon.
No! *covers eyes* Not Dean!
“It’s just that you defended the entire family from the demon. And then your brother killed, well, a human girl.”
But … but … what choice did Sam have? The demon would have kept on killing if Sam hadn’t done what he did. Yes, killing Leslie was awful, but … I guess Good and Evil can only see black and white and not shades of grey, eh? Or perhaps it's that Sam's actions were motivated by hate for the demon, rather than doing good for mankind.
“We’re on a deadline here,” Dave interrupts. “We don’t get this done, we’re going to miss the wormhole.”
*snorts* Of course Evil would be kind of impatient about the whole thing. Btw, great idea to have Evil and Good’s human names be so ordinary. I like that.
“Hey,” Dean says. “Would you finish stitching that up? I have things to do.”
“Things of the useful research variety or things of the it’s-alive-and-has-tits-works-for-me variety?”
ROTFLOL! So glad to see Sam and Dean survive judgment day and get to go back to what they do best: brotherly banter and hunting evil. *g*
“Come on, man, the one time you thought that girl had information about the demon we were trying to kill, it turned out she was the demon we were trying to kill.”
*snickers* I can so see this happening to Dean. It’s a wonder his downstairs brain hasn’t gotten him into heaps of trouble on the show.
Thanks for a great read. :)