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xaaraI still don't really have a job. So I went to the zoo today to see if they have any summer openings still available and ended up filling out an application. I handed the application back to the secretary, who smiled at me and said, "Do you have time to take our quiz?"
"Quiz?" I asked.
"It's something we give in addition to the application," she said.
This is a minimum-wage job, I thought. In the past, I'd applied for real jobs in important places and I'd never had to pass any sort of test. "Sure," I said. "I'll take the quiz."
It turned out to be a double-sided sheet of paper. On one side were ten or so vocabulary questions (Absence most closely means: (a) Notice, (b) Vacancy, (c) Test, (d) Ulcer) and some spelling (Circle the correct spelling: (a) Busness, (b) Bisness, (c) Business, (d) Bizness). On the other side, they asked some free-response math questions (A customer pays for a $9.47 purchase with a $20 bill. How much change does he/she receive?) I wish I were making these up--at least then, this could be a simply case of me kicking my snark into overdrive. But these are 100% authentic. I paid close attention to them.
After I completed the last question, I felt like writing, I aced four years of Honors and AP English and I can integrate multivariable equations in my sleep, but I can neither spell Bisness nor perform simple subtraction problems. Clearly, I'm the wrong person for this job. I didn't. Moreover, I refrained from pointing out to the secretary that my first words to her upon entering the office were, "My name is Carmen--I called your office yesterday to inquire into job availability and to schedule a time for me to complete the application." I even--and I'm particularly proud of myself for this one--returned the secretary's pen instead of making off with it as was my first impulse.
This job-searching thing is getting ridiculous. This is not what I signed up for at the beginning of the summer. And how is it anyone's Bizness whether or not a hander-outer of brochures can spell?
"Quiz?" I asked.
"It's something we give in addition to the application," she said.
This is a minimum-wage job, I thought. In the past, I'd applied for real jobs in important places and I'd never had to pass any sort of test. "Sure," I said. "I'll take the quiz."
It turned out to be a double-sided sheet of paper. On one side were ten or so vocabulary questions (Absence most closely means: (a) Notice, (b) Vacancy, (c) Test, (d) Ulcer) and some spelling (Circle the correct spelling: (a) Busness, (b) Bisness, (c) Business, (d) Bizness). On the other side, they asked some free-response math questions (A customer pays for a $9.47 purchase with a $20 bill. How much change does he/she receive?) I wish I were making these up--at least then, this could be a simply case of me kicking my snark into overdrive. But these are 100% authentic. I paid close attention to them.
After I completed the last question, I felt like writing, I aced four years of Honors and AP English and I can integrate multivariable equations in my sleep, but I can neither spell Bisness nor perform simple subtraction problems. Clearly, I'm the wrong person for this job. I didn't. Moreover, I refrained from pointing out to the secretary that my first words to her upon entering the office were, "My name is Carmen--I called your office yesterday to inquire into job availability and to schedule a time for me to complete the application." I even--and I'm particularly proud of myself for this one--returned the secretary's pen instead of making off with it as was my first impulse.
This job-searching thing is getting ridiculous. This is not what I signed up for at the beginning of the summer. And how is it anyone's Bizness whether or not a hander-outer of brochures can spell?
