The Great Base Robbery and For the Love of Fried Chicken

[xaara]

Carmen's Wednesday Advice

To steal a base:

1. Start running from your base toward another base.

2. Watch what's happening in the infield so you're not caught in a rundown or thrown out. (Your coach will tell you not to watch what the infielders are doing, to listen to the base coach. By all means, listen to the base coach, but whatever you do, don't ignore everything else going on around you.)

3. Slide into the base of choice.

4. Rise, brush yourself off, and grin wanly at the person covering whatever base you've stolen.

5. DO NOT act stupid, do a victory dance, complain that you slid wrong and now your knee hurts, or spend forever and a day readjusting all of your clothing.

To eat fried chicken:

1. Please don't, ever.

2. But if you have to, please be sure that the person making the chicken has some sort of hygienic environment, at least around the preparation area.

3. Actually, just stay away from it altogether.

In case you're wondering what brought those two digressions on, I can't say for sure. Perhaps just a general fed-upness with people. Especially people who complain about broken nails and organize luncheons with the most disgusting food imaginable. I'll retreat back into my cave now.